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Sounds like you have a interesting story in the works, here. Right now, it reads a little more like a summary than a full narrative, but I'd say don't get TOO hung up on that, right now - if that's the mode that makes it easiest to continue getting the story out, then go with it, and tweak later. On the other hand, if you're a little stuck, plot-wise, and working on rephrasing and such now helps keep your head in the story, then do that.

I'm interested in any descriptions you have for what your method seems to be. I have been putting some rephrase suggestions in the Google Drive document, but I'm trying to limit them, so I don't distract you too much from further development (if that is a risk). I guess I'd like to know what kind of input is most helpful, at this stage.

Well, TLS is something I was planning on continuing from this point. I just have to find the time to actually get something down on paper for that, and I'm sure I'll need some input there.

... I would really like to know what kind of input you're most interested in, at this point:

  1. Content development(plot, character development, setting, story consistency)
  2. Editing (grammar, punctuation, vocabulary/phrasing/wordsmithing)

Just asking, since I know you currently have pretty limited time/attention for your writing, and I want to focus on giving input that is the most useful to you now, rather than diverting your resources to updates that you'd rather save until later. I know that when I write, I pretty much prefer to do my own editing, and have test audience members mostly concentrate on content. What do you prefer? Or do you have a preference?